Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Ahhhhh Therapy!

Today was therapy day for me. I went to the gym and worked out my frustrations on some weight machines. My BFF totally dissed me. She overslept. WTH? I mean I know she owns an alarm clock?? Is it really that hard to get up when you told someone that you were going to meet them?? It has happened more than a couple times this way. She either doesn't want to get out of bed, it's too cold, she forgot to set her alarm, she has cramps, she was up late, the list goes on and on. I then headed on over to my therapist after the gym and the topic was my BFF. I just went off about how much it bothers that she has never had to grow up. Her parents help her in every single aspect of her life. Financially mostly. I guess maybe I'm a tad jealous of that. I don't know what it's like to have money or parents that are well-to-do. My Mom was great in many ways and taught me how to be a generous, caring, loving, hard working, focused person. She just never had two nickels to rub together. My dad is worthless. And that's all I can really say about him. Back to my BFF. So anywho...she has always had things handed to her. She'd wreck a car and her parents would buy her a new one, she wanted a house, they helped her buy her grandma's house (think like a $250 mortgage pymt), she quit her job (for over a yr unemployed) and they supported her, she wanted to start her own business, they gave her the money. It just never ends. And now she is with this real gem of a guy that puts her down, tells her she's fat, rips her friends apart, and constantly starts fights with her over nothing. Add to that the fact that she has been diagnosed with depression and should take meds but doesn't. Well she takes them on and off. She needs therapy of some sort desperately, but says she's to busy. All of this stuff she comes to me with. The mother in me wants to help her and protect her and encourage her, but the friend in me is wondering when she's gonna get her head out of her ass and grow up! I wish she would take responsibility for herself and her actions without the help of mom and dad. I've never had things handed to me. I guess that's why it hits such a nerve. It makes me mad that someone can have so much and not have a clue what to do with it. It makes me mad that she looks at her life like a soap opera and she's the star and everyone will cater to her needs. It makes me mad that she can't reciprocate the friendship the way I am towards her. So somehow I have to get some space between us. I need to focus on me and my family now. I start classes next week and my schedule is pretty hectic this semester. According to my therapist I need focus on myself more. This will help me get on the road to controlling my weight, being a better mother/wife, and being a better person in general. The only problem is that I'm not sure HOW to put space between us without her thinking I'm ditching her completely. So there. I've vented and covered all the juicy stuff from today. I'll be at the gym tomorrow. I'll be watching my food intake. And I'll be trying to avoid my BFF.

No comments: