Wednesday, March 4, 2009
I'm learning through all this therapy and stuff that I am a doormat. That my whole life I have let people use me, walk all over me, rely on me to help them and never once have I really asked for anything in return. I have become accustomed to being a "mom" to anyone that needs one. Advice? I'll give it. Shoulder to cry on? I'll give it. Need your mail picked up? I'll get it. Need a ride? I'll come get ya. Some of these aren't really bad but they lead to bad things if you never get them in return. I'm learning that this is my Dad's fault. I'm learning that my BFF has the depth of a rock. Which is really starting to annoy me. I'm learning that I really want people in my life that are weak and depressed to stand up for themselves, get help, and frickin get over it all ready. We ALL have struggles. If your not gonna help yourself then I can only do so much. My attitude, that I also got from my father, is actually starting to pay off in some positive ways. I'm learning that I can be a force to be wreckoned with. And lastly I'm learning that I matter. My wants and needs matter. And that it's ok to be a little selfish sometimes.