Saturday, April 12, 2008

Mending Burnt Bridges

Today was interesting. I woke up hungover with 4 hrs of sleep. I needed to explain to my husband at this point that I accidentally forget to pull my emergency brake last night while I was out and my car rolled into another car. Let me just say at this point that when I got out of my car I believed I had put it in 1st gear. I walked away and it did not move, so naturally I assumed my car was parked. I came out a little later and my car was still parked. It wasn't until an hour later that the band at the bar we were at announced that my car needed to be moved. There was no damage to my car, but a nickel size dent was left in the other car. The sheriff was called because super bitch of the century couldn't calm the fuck down long enough for me to give her my insurance card. At this point my BFF called in a favor and dropped a name which helped me out immensely. No ticket issued thank God. My husband decides that he is going to leave me hungover and sleepless with our 4 yr old child all day while he ran errands. I DON'T THINK SO! So I kindly said that I was hoping he would stay home because I wanted to clean out the garage and rake out the gardens, and maybe start a burn pile for a bunch of crap we had. It kind of back fired though because now I had to do manuel labor while I felt like shit. Then my uncle calls and says he is bringing over 2 old dressers that were mine about 20 yrs ago. I thought all that stuff was trashed when my Mom lost our house. So of course I wanted my old dresser that I had graffitied with I <3 class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Mottola written all over the back of it from 4 th grade. It was just a totally weird and random thing. I can't tell how excited I was too see my old dresser. So I go back to cleaning out the garage and in the midst of my laboring I get a text message from my estranged BFF. Long story short, she left her husband a year ago, lied to all of her closest friends and moved to Hawaii. I cut her off after I told her how self absorbed she is and that I didn't have time for it in my life. She is in town. She wants to talk. Start new. I totally looked at this as an opportunity to end being so mad and hurt by what she did a year ago. So we met for coffee and I was sooo frickin nervous I was shaking when I handed the cashier chic my money for my nonfat chai tea latte. It turns out she is in town because her father in law is dying.Well he actually died this morning around 3 am. I didn't know what to say except for sorry. I mean I haven't talk to her face to face in over a year. We sit down and she asks me about what's been going on. I tell her about my rolling car incident. She laughed and I laughed and it was like the last year or so never happened. It all just kind of melted away. Two hours later we finish catching up and I felt like we had been back in our apartment 12 yrs ago just hanging out. It was wonderful to not be angry. She gave me a huge hug and we agreed to get in contact next week after the funeral. So do I now just trust that she has changed and accept that our friendship can be mended? I really hope so. But part of me is very cautious too. I have spent the last year carrying this grudge and anger around. I am hopeful though.
When I finally get home there are my dressers!!! YEAH! I get up close and they are completely trashed. I mean ruined. One of the drawers has some stuff in it though so I check it out. One of my baby toys was in there and a silver snowflake ornament from 1975. I couldn't believe it! These are the last sentimental pieces of my early childhood that exist. I could have done back flips I was sooo excited. So a friendship was mended today, a part of my memories was saved, my garage is clean and I'm still alive after telling my husband about my crazy, rolling car. It was a very good day.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Here comes the bride...

Ok so I am already married, but the first time around (10yrs ago) we kinda just ran off to the J.P. and got hitched. It was quick and most of our family wasn't even invited. Bitterman's sis was his best man and my best friend was my maid of honor. Actually they were both just our witnesses and needed to sign the marriage license for us. LOL! Bitterman, myself and a handful of friends got together at the local diner for our "reception" and that was that. Now 10 yrs later, we are in a much better place financially and we are settled. He is no longer in the military and we have a beautiful little girl. So we decided to renew our vows for our 10 yr anniversary. This is going to be the big to-do that we missed the first time around. So far I am completely overwhelmed with things to do. I had NO idea what was involved with a wedding. It seems like a never ending list! I do have my dress already and I do have the ceremony and reception location booked. The flowers I figured would be easy. I know I want gerbera daisies. I was gonna just go to some craft store and get them and make my own table centerpieces. OF COURSE they don't order them so they can't guarantee that they will have them or if they do, that they will have them in the colors I want. now I have to get them thru a florist when I was hoping to just get the bridesmaids and my flowers thru a florist. Then I realized that I need corsages for the Moms and boutiniers for the guys....blah, blah, blah. I don't have any help either. Which I'm not really complaining, but usually a girl has her mom to help guide her, tell her what is traditional, what looks good with what. I don't have my Mom to help me because she is just not physically able to do so. My Mom in law I thought would be all over helping me since she wasn't at the first one, but that has turned out not to be true. She hasn't even really asked how the planning was going. I'm a little miffed about that, but anywho. So I am basically going on the help of my BFF who has never been married. She is great, but not like someone who has already been thru the routine would be. I'm really just frustrated at this point. That is why I am on here. Venting quietly to my computer while my child runs rampant around the house. There's beer in the fridge. I should drink one or two or three...