Thursday, December 18, 2008

Renewal

Hi. I haven't blogged in quite a while due to a certain nosey and not-so-nice family member. But I'm back! This weekend I will celebrate my 10yr wedding anniversary!!! My hubby and I are renewing our vows and doing it up the way we would have done it 10 yrs ago (if we had had any money to speak of).

A lot has changed in 10 yrs. Bitterman joined the Marine Corps (that's where our adventure began), we've grown, become responsible human beings (sort of), got out of the Corps, had a kid, bought a house, lost a baby, partied, learned how to cook together, have made some amazing friends, have travelled and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Of course, we have had our not so great times, what couple doesn't? But on the whole I feel like I picked to best guy in the world to share my life with.

So as this huge day approaches I can't seem to focus on all this great, exciting stuff. All I can seem to think about is the fact that I have a really lame Dad. My dad was a GREAT dad when I was young. He's was supportive, caring, fun, and tried to really hard mold and teach us kids. I'm not sure where he lost that ability to be a father, but he did. He will not be coming to my renewal this weekend because of the fact that he can't seem to scrape up $500 (I even offered to pay for his plane ticket and he still came up with excuses!). I gave him a YEARS notice. He still couldn't do it. He called me tonight to tell me he'd be thinking of me on Sat. I lit into him. Then just as I started crying and getting really upset he says he has to go because they need him at Bingo. Seriously?? BINGO???? Why would you call to talk to your daughter from Bingo?? AND how could he not understand how important it is to me that he dance with me at my wedding or come support me and my husband or just to see his kids that he hasn't seen in 2 or 3 yrs??!!! How does a father not feel the tug on his heart to be near his children and grandchildren??? I just don't understand it and it has completely broken my heart. I'm disappointed and let down. I really hope no one asks about him on Saturday...

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