Sanity

Sanity has returned to my house. My last post was me at my wits end. Literally. I let it all out via text message to the Man and I believe he was afraid to come home that night. Long story short, I got over it and my child is my angelic little girl once again. Well maybe not angelic...

So no worries, I haven't gone ape shit and put my kid in a closet for days or anything.

There are days that I desperately wish for nothing more than to be in a quiet room by myself with no family within 100 miles. Preferably, that room would be on a beach with a well stocked bar.

Losing it

i am losing my fucking mind right now. why? because my 7 yr old child has, in the last hour, thrown a fit over cheese, a fit over a toy that she broke, and a fit over a doll. i have HAD IT!! it's been one of those days where the only words out of her mouth is "I NEED". let's keep in mind that any other day she is a completely independent, makes her own snack, plays by herself kind of chick. not today. today it's let's be up mommy's ass all day, day. mommy needs a break. like now.

Six year olds

My Girl is 6. She will be 7 very shortly. The never ending list of things she wants for her birthday keeps getting brought up over dinner. Like I could ever forget it...dolls, razor scooter thingy, zhu zhu pets (yikes?), a four wheeler, the Barbie doll that's a mermaid, some clothes, and pink streaks in her hair are constants. Every now and then she throws something else in there that some kid on the bus had, but for the most part those are the gifts at the top of her list. So here's my thing, I don't feel that a lot of these are worth wasting my money on. A four wheeler is just out of the question because I don't have an extra 600-1000 bucks to drop on her, the zhu zhu pets are just ridiculous, and the Barbie...well let's just say me and Barbie don't get along so well. My Bitter Little Man thinks I'm bitter and stingy about gift giving, but it's really just that I don't want a bunch of crap around my house that's just gonna get chewed by the dog or I'm going to end up picking up 10,000 times a day. Does that make me a bad mom? Maybe it's because I was brought up in a very poor household with 4 children and when it came to birthdays or Christmas is was always very simple. We got one big gift and then usually some little items that we could use (shampoo, conditioner, pens, pencils etc...). There was a lot of sacrificing and compromising. I just feel like even though my husband and I are better off than my parents were it doesn't mean we should just give in to our daughter's every little wish. How will she ever truly appreciate anything? I've been trying to figure out ways to help her appreciate the things we do provide for her. So far...it's not working. How do you get a 6 year old to understand and appreciate what she has? Maybe I'm expecting too much...

So Here's the Skinny

I'm getting more used to my new job. Do I love it? NO. Is it a means to an end while I finish up school? YES. It has definitely given me a profound appreciation for the difference between what a nurse does and a nurse's aide does. I can't wait to be a nurse. Being able to sit once in a while will be completely worth it! The aides NEVER sit or eat or pee or stand in one spot very long. It's so exhausting. I know I kinda sound like a whiner, but I've been a stay at home for the last 3 yrs and before that I was at a desk playing receptionist all day. It's a big change to be up and moving for 8 hrs straight! Add in bending, lifting, squatting, stretching, pulling, walking and phewwwww I tell it's one hell of a workout!

Speaking of workouts....my insanity kick I was on has ended. I just don't have the time now (excuses, excuses). I'm going to try and fit in some extra walking around campus and really crack down on my eating habits. I've gained SO MUCH FRIGGIN WEIGHT!!! And I'm really beginning to be disgusted by it. So once I get my class routine down, then that will be the next focus.

Other than school and work I am trying to fit my family in there somewhere. I'll be glad when school starts for my Girl then I won't feel so bad about leaving her everyday for hours. She'll be learning while I'm learning. Woot! My Bitter Little Man on the other hand is a whole different situation. He's picked up a shift at work one night a week in addition to his normal night hours. During the days before he goes to work I am in class, by the time I get out he's gone and doesn't get home until after I've gone to bed....maybe I can catch him on the weekend? This kind of situation makes us both very irritable. I'm only on day 2 of classes and that is apparent. Why didn't I do all this school stuff when I was 18??? Hmmmm?? My parents totally should have kicked my ass into shape back in the day. Well they weren't really in a position to, I guess. That's it for now...happy Tuesday to ya!

Crap

My new job is draining the life out of me. It's only been 3 days. Have I wasted the last 3 yrs of my life in school for a profession that I may end up hating? I'm so lost right now. I had a complete meltdown today and was reduced to tears in a Lowe's parking lot because of work, school, money, life....this Friday night gets a big ole poop sandwich for the record.

2 week follow up

So I did my 2 week follow up fit test for the Insanity workout program that I am trying to follow. I'll be honest here and say that I did NOT work out 6 days a week for the last 2 weeks. I did do 4 workouts the first week and 2 workouts the second week. Yeah I kinda slacked. BUT all of my numbers did go up. I increased my reps in all of the exercises except for 2 where I stayed the same. Improvement in 6 out of 8 exercises isn't bad as far as I'm concerned. I have yet to take my measurements. I'm going to wait until the one month mark for those. So there it is.

I've been doing pretty well on my food intake and calorie counting. I've started using Livestrong.com to track my food intake and exercise. I really like the layout of it and the fact that it actually gives me useful tips and advice! So here's to getting healthy and kicking butt!!

Really??

Here's the short version of just what went down in my house. My sis in law texted me and asked if I could watch her 2 daughters and our nephew so she and my brother could go kayaking. Her oldest daughter is just at the tail end of pharygitis or mono and my nephew made himself puke all day the last time I watched him. My first reaction was REALLY??? I mean really. She's gonna pawn a sick kid and a kid she's supposed to be watching today off on me? I asked for a definite time and she has never texted me back. I told my Hubs and he says he'll be pissed if I watch the kids. He's not even going to be here!! He has to work!! So why would he be pissed?? Annoyed from both my sis in law and my Hubs right now.